Black Champagne
by Buck Wilde
Summary: Season one. My take on Blair being pregnant. "Lying in her bed, Blair cried silver tears. Her carefully paved future had become a yellow brick road. It twirled infinitely before her eyes with no real direction; no start or finish." Nate or Chuck? R&R!
1. If I Told You A Secret

**If I Told You A Secret**

It was the sickening feeling in Blair's stomach that had caused her to end things with Nate roughly a month after her debutante ball. Guilt. That was what it was. Because out of all the people in her life, the good, the bad, the disappointments and all, the one person who had never done anything to hurt Blair was Chuck Bass. She knew her being with Nate hurt him. For some strange and rather endearing reason, Blair had a hand over Chuck. And she did like him, she did care about him. He was one of her best friends- actually he was her best friend- because Serena had slept with Nate while he was her boyfriend and a best friend wouldn't do something like that.

But when she thought about the whole situation; her naïve feelings towards her future with Nate and her bond with Chuck, she had literally thrown up. She hadn't forced her fingers down her throat like she used to, Chuck had put an end to that. No, she had fallen to her knees with guilt at the way she had hurt her friend and emptied every bad thing she had in her into the toilet; praying that they would never return to tarnish the happiness and beauty that had slowly made its way back into her life.

However, things with Nate had ended, and Blair was curled around the toilet again. Tears marred her face like silver liquid scars and an unsteady sob rippled from deep inside her core, grated past her heart before it bit the insides of her cheeks and then rolled slowly from her tongue.

"Chuck."

Blair wanted Chuck to comfort her like he had when Serena had disappeared and Nate had changed and her parents had split up. She wanted Chuck to hold her hair back while she threw up and then wrap her in his unpredictably warm embrace until her tears drenched his shirt where it stretched over his shoulder, like they had done so many times before. In fact, she wanted Chuck to be able to put an end to whatever illness she had, because he had last time. He'd stopped her from being sick. He'd stopped her from emptying everything she had until she had nothing. No, he had made sure she had stayed whole, stayed strong. _"Because honestly Waldorf, most guys like a bit of ass to grab,"_ he'd told her as he kissed her forehead.

Guilt was sickening. Denial was too. Blair had come to find that the two; Guilt and Denial, came hand in hand. Occasionally their friend Regret accompanied them. But what place had they in Blair's life? Well Blair was distraughtly guilty over having hurt Chuck. She was devastatingly in denial over the way she felt. And she was sickeningly regretful that the first two emotions had come into play at all. She regretted that she had hurt Chuck and she regretted that she had never acted on the way she truly felt; the things she denied.

Chuck and Nate. Nate and Chuck. Charles Bass. Nathaniel Archibald. Together they were day and night. Nate was all light angles and soft edges; eyes filled with the midday sky, a smile like the sun in winter. But Chuck, Chuck was sharp sparkles in the dark; deep dark eyes glistening with golden stars, a smile that draws the moon into orbit. The former was safe, warm, gentle and comfortable. The latter was mysterious, sultry, passionate and exciting.

Each was beautiful, and each made her feel sick.

Blair reached over to the cupboard under the sink. She had only begun to rifle through her things to find some medication when she stopped. Next to each other, side by side and alone; she let her eyes fall on the unopened box of tampons and pads. She withdrew her hand, knocking almost everything from the shelf as she hastily recoiled, until the only things left standing upright were the two completely unholy signs. The anti-Father, the anti-Son. Her hand fell to her tempesting stomach. _The anti-Holy Spirit._ In her mind she rattled off dates, times, places, days, weeks. Months.

It was one month and two weeks since she had lost her virginity in the back of a limo to her best friend Chuck Bass. One month exactly since she had sex with Nate Archibald. How could this have happened to her? She was Blair Cornelia Waldorf; Queen of class, fashion, charisma, innocence and talent. How had she managed to become an absolute slut in one month? If there was only one possibility than that was fine. But not two.

Dark and light, battling it out to take control of her; to consume her. _They fight, Paris falls._

She had only had sex with Nate once, with a condom and the withdrawal method in what luckily happened to be her least fertile time of month. But Chuck, with his passionate impulsive behaviour, maybe he had forgotten to be careful. Maybe he was just that good. But she didn't know for sure yet.

_They fight, Nate falls._

Or Chuck?

**xoxo**

The walk was excruciating. As far as Blair was concerned, no matter the fact that she was in Queens, this was the only walk of shame worth being ashamed of. Her feet were heavy; shackled by the shadow of the future and each step dragged as she pulled the weights at the ends of her chains.

Heavy.

As heavy as her heart.

She couldn't see anyone around her, nor her surroundings. She could only see two sets of eyes; one a soft shade of blue, the other warm hazel flecked by striking gold. The colours were permanent, the emotions they portrayed, not so much. They ranged from sad, shocked, disappointed, angry, hateful and mocking. Never did they rest on loving, on supportive, on caring.

Finally Blair was at the counter, exchanging money for three pink boxes which she quickly hid inside her bag before walking quickly from the shop.

And in what felt like no time she was back home, peeing on a stick. One after the other, she let the results rip her from stem to stern, as if she were a stunning wooden ship, twirling roughly with the tempest. The waves would kiss her body, the lightning would lick her skin and the rain would soak her bones. The rocks would tear. And finally the storm settled and the she could see what was in front of her. At once the result was stunning and devastating. At once she was crying with relief as much as she was with grief.

She dropped the test onto the bench with the others and picked up her phone. From her contacts she selected Serena, Nate and Chuck. With blinding speed she typed a message to the four people she loved most.

**NJBC,**

**Friday-Sunday, my Hamptons house.**

**Need a good time- I just wanna be free.**

**Be there- B xoxo.**

Blair hit send and went down stairs to talk to her mother. She found her sitting on the sofa with a copy of Vogue. Blair composed herself. She was worried that her mother would sense a change in her.

"Mom, can Serena, Nate, Chuck and I go to the Hamptons house this weekend?" Her voice came out shakier than she thought.

"I suppose," Eleanor replied, not bothering to look up from her magazine. "If Dorota goes with you."

Eleanor's lack of responsiveness caused Blair to tear up. She ran back to her room before she broke down. On her bedroom floor, with her back pressed against the door, Blair cried and desperately longed for her weekend of normalcy. She could pretend that everything was fine, but after that weekend, she would have to face the truth. She was going to be a mother, and she'd be damned if she was anything like her own inattentive parents. She had to find out who's it was and how she would juggle pregnancy with school. And what about college? Blair let the tears fall for all of the dreams she would have to give up on for this poor child. All of her ambitions, all of her…

She was curled around the toilet again, calling for Chuck. She didn't think the baby was his. So she cried his name so it would feel less real. But she also cried his name because it tasted sweeter on her tongue. _If I told you a secret, Chuck._

For some reason, when she told herself it wasn't Chuck's baby, she threw up harder than before. She imagined the baby. He had her hair and his blue eyes and he was rolling around on her bed, being tickled be the hands of his father. And he had _his _smirk and it was enough to make her retch. But she was empty.

She was empty as she was full and she was relieved as she was afraid.

Her phone vibrated.

**It would be a pleasure, yours of course. **_If only you knew how much._

**Always, C.** _ You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what I knew._

He was her guilty pleasure. She indulged in the warmth that she found in the shadows between his soul and hers. When he was happy, her lips curled. When he hurt, she fell. When he cried, it was really her eyes that rained. When he closed his eyes, she fell asleep. When he watched the stars, she watched them fall. When he kissed her, she could taste her own soul. When he touched like feathers, she felt like fire.

**I'll be there. **_ Good, because I'll need you._

**Love you, S. **_Love you too._

She was her sister. She loved her unconditionally and even as she hated her. Serena was there because Blair always would be. Serena chased because Blair was always running. Serena cared because Blair would never stop. Serena glittered because Blair shone. Serena worried because was Blair was as fragile as silk is to a blade.

**Looking forward to it. **_You look forward but never far enough. Please see me in tomorrow's sun._

**xoxo Nate. **_I know who you are; your number's saved in my phone._

**P.S. Strawberry or peppermint? **_Neither. Caramel._

He was her constant. He would always be safe, even if he tried not to be. He would give her what she wanted because she asked. He would hold her hand because she reached it out. He would watch the sunrise because she couldn't sleep. He would paint the night because it couldn't last. He would offer both because she didn't like either.

Lying in her bed, Blair cried silver tears. Her carefully paved future had become a yellow brick road. It twirled infinitely before her eyes with no real direction; no start or finish. Her hand came to rest on the steady beating of her stomach, an echo of her heart reaching out to push the rest of her forward into some state of pleasantry. As pleasant as could be. Slowly she calmed until all she felt was a flutter of wings. Purple butterflies beating inside her core. Their wings settled, drifting across her insides with soft paintbrush strokes. Painting her a new future, a new path, that would begin within her very being.

Hope blossomed inside her veins and beat red and fiery through her blood. She killed it off with a single twist of the knife that had become her heart and she cursed the day that Chuck Bass had set her free and the day that Nate Archibald had locked her up again. She cried until she didn't remember that her own name was etched across his skin in liquid silver every time she cried.

Who he was she did not know, for she had no idea that as she closed her eyes, he fell asleep. Nor did she know that he would keep her safe, because he knew no other way that it should be. All she knew was that the way her world crumbled, his would too.

**Ok, so this was the first instalment for my take on Blair being pregnant in season one. This was mainly just initial thoughts that she has, the chapters to come will have a lot of dialogue. Please let me know what you think, it won't take long. Reviews keep the world turning and it means faster updates. Also the chapter titles are lyrics from a song called Horses by Abby Dobson. Can't wait to hear what you think. And I'm working on another story called Falling Up, so check it out. Thanks xoxo.**


	2. Would You Understand?

**Author's note: **Thanks so much for the support guys, I feel like we are off to a good start. Hopefully as I add more chapters, I'll gain more followers. Haha, sounds like a cult. Just quickly wanted to say for my fellow CHAIR fans, that although the season didn't end the way we would have liked, there is still hope! After all, "If two people are meant to be then eventually they'll find their way back." I think we all know what that means! Go team Dark Knight! Also a quick tribute to Pablo Neruda, I quoted one of his poems in the last chapter ("Without Knowing How, Or When Or From Where"), just so that I don't commit intellectual property theft, not cool kids.

_**socialitegirl-**_Thanks for R&R-ing. I know, poor Blair. I think it would be so much harder to come to grips with something like that when you already have a plan for your life. I plan on really exploring that. I hope you continue to enjoy it. Let me know what you think. Also thanks for your patience and understanding, exams are coming up so I will be pressed to get any writing done but I will do my best.

_**Italiapen112- **_Thank you. I really hope you enjoy it. Yes, I think you'll find that I go on poetic rants quite a lot. Let me know if it gets too much. Please keep reading and let me know what you think.

_**MrChuck- **_Here it is! I hope you like it. Please keep reading and leave a review. Thanks for the support.

_**tiff xoxo- **_Thank you so much. Let me know what you think of this chapter.

_**watermelon2014-**_Thank you, I'm glad you like it. Yes well, we'll see ;) Haha,gotta keep you all hanging. You'll find out soon enough. Can't wait to hear what you think of this chapter.

_**angieggjb-**_ Your wish is my command. Here it is, enjoy. Can't wait to hear what you think.

_**lisottina81-**_Thank you, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think.

_**pure-simple-adoration- **_Thank you so much. Yeah it is a great song! I feel like it was made for Chuck and Blair. I actually heard it first on the _Packed to the Rafters_ season 2 soundtrack and I couldn't get it out of my head. I wasn't sure how Falling Up would go, since the first chapter didn't really have a point but I'm getting there, and for both stories I can't thank you enough for the support. Can't wait to hear what you think.

_**Little miss pixie-Alice cullen-**_I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Yes, I think you'll find that I go very deep into everyone's thoughts. Let me know what you think of this chapter.

**BekaRoo-** Here it is. Exams are fast approaching so I will still be struggling to write but my production has ended and it was a huge success. Thanks for the patience and support. Let me know what you think of this chapter.

**Would You Understand?**

The school week was long. Blair couldn't stop thinking about the weekend; her chance to escape. Already she felt fat. She felt like people could see straight through her now; now that she was vulnerable to change, now that she was malleable to little hands that she couldn't even see yet. Someone would look at her, just to admire her headband, and she immediately thought that they knew. Her hope and happiness was hinged on this weekend the way spring hinged on May. And she wasn't the only one.

Chuck watched from the shadows as she moved between crowds of inconsequential people, flickering in and out of focus like a slowly building flame. And he longed for the weekend like he longed for November. The way he saw her was through a sultry fall haze of rich gold, warm amber and seductive crimson. Only Chuck Bass could look at Blair in a poetic trance inspired by falling leaves and want nothing more than to taste her glossy scarlet lips and the weak-tea skin that was hidden beneath her school uniform.

She floated across the courtyard, flanked by Serena who bounced. Her bubbly best friend looked different, glancing none to subtly at Blair with concern transparent on her face. And Blair looked flighty. A peacock trapped in a cage. She was walking quickly, her deep brown eyes glazed over like set chocolate. And suddenly she walked into Nate.

His arms encircled her as she stumbled. She gasped, her hand flying to touch her dizzy head.

"Woah, Blair! Are you ok?" Nate asked, fear filling his voice. Her light body was temporarily like dead weight in his arms.

She righted herself, straightened her skirt and threw Nate a dazzling smile. It didn't reach her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I must have tripped. I haven't broken these heels in yet," she lied. "Thanks for catching me." She placed a small kiss on his cheek before continuing to the library for her study period.

Nate took the bait, and watched as the two most enchanting girls he had ever seen, went their separate ways. Serena was just as gullible, and told Blair that she should be wearing her shoes around the house before she wore them out.

She walked away unscathed and light headed.

Chuck stalked to the library after her. His hawk's eyes trained on the dark curls that swung out behind her as she wove through the halls. He followed always closely, but in shadows. The library suited her, he thought. It was rich and warm and full of secrets; hidden between hard covers of books.

He cornered her at the intersection of Literature and 20th Century History. She was on her tip-toes, her fingers brushing along the spines of books until she found what she was looking for; a black spine with silver cursive. She fell back onto her heels heavily and swaying, she lowered herself uneasily onto the floor. He watched as she began to cry and his skin burnt with the need to do something.

"Blair," he made his presence known by squatting beside her and placing a hand softly on her back. "What's wrong?"

She shrugged away from his hand and whispered, "Please don't touch me."

"Blair, I'm not as stupid as Nathanial. You can tell me."

Her head fell forward, her curls obscuring her face from his view. "Just leave," she snapped.

"Waldorf, you can bullshit your way around Nate all you like but you can't fool me. I know you."

"My heels are just a bit tight. And my clothes, I just need to start my diet again." She sounded convincing and bitchy. But she didn't raise her head.

"You never look anything but perfect B. Don't even think about going back to that place," Chuck said a little too forcefully.

"Why the hell not? You can't tell me what to do." Before she could catch herself she had looked up at him, revealing her tear stained cheeks and puffy, tired eyes. Chuck's breath hitched at the sight of her and before he could stop himself he had wrapped her into his arms on the floor and her face was pressed against his chest.

She sobbed into him, surrendering to the pent up heartache. Her tears soaked through his shirt so much that he could feel their burn on his chest. He stroked her hair softly and he hushed gently into her ear.

"Please don't do it Blair. Don't do it to me. You're beautiful the way you are." He was scared, scared that he might lose her again to her insecurities. This was the part of Blair that was his friend, not the part complicated by sex and he needed to hold her. He couldn't help but marvel that of all people, Blair Waldorf was the one he cared for the most. The one he would really do anything for. At the end of the day he couldn't stand the thought of something happening to Blair because she was the only thing he understood in the world and somehow she understood him like no one else could. The last time this had happened was when Serena had come back. And before that, the very beginning was when her father and Serena had left, and when all that was left of Nate in their lives was his physical presence. She had only had him and it had hurt. The times when he caught her before she was sick and the times when it was too late tore him up. But then she would hold him and laugh and it would all be worth it; knowing that someone needed him, knowing that he was helping another person to be happy again.

Happiness wasn't often associated with Chuck Bass. Only when Blair Waldorf was concerned.

"I would never," she whispered. _Not now. Not anymore._

"You promise?" He pulled away so that he could look into her eyes. With the pads of his thumbs he brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"Yes." She forced a small smile. Chuck leant forward and brushed his lips across hers.

"Will you tell me what's going on?" He asked before brushing his lips along her jaw, up to her ear and then back down across her lips.

"I don't think I'm ready."

"Soon then." He lifted her to her feet and she nodded. "Will you be ok?"

"I will." She answered, leaning forward to place a lingering kiss on the side of his mouth. "Thank you Chuck."

He nodded, gave her a small smirk, kissed her forehead and made his leave.

When she heard the library door open and close, she started to cry again. Soon she would have to talk to Nate and Chuck. And she would shatter all of the innocence that they had left. Like crystal in her palm, she would crush it until she had glitter and as she sprinkled it, it would cut and sting.

And they would bleed. All three of them.

**xoxo**

Friday had finally arrived. The week had passed slowly; Blair's day consisted of numerous trips to the bathroom to be sick, school work, avoiding Serena's growing worried gaze and Dorota's concern. She didn't see much of Chuck, not because either of them were avoiding each other, just because they were busy. Nate was everywhere; carrying her books, getting her coffee, kissing her cheek on greeting and on farewell. It was nice and comforting, if not somewhat annoying, to be constantly coddled by her ex-boyfriend. He wasn't overly romantic, just friendly, and perhaps even subconsciously protective of his childhood sweetheart. Thankfully he hadn't witnessed her bouts of sickness. Only Chuck was privy to the fact that something was going on and even he had no idea. Blair was honestly just looking forward to the weekend away with her friends. Her first doctor's appointment was booked for Monday because she didn't think she should put it off for any longer.

The day went by quickly and soon the four friends were sitting in Chuck's limo on their way to the Waldorf Hamptons house. Dorota had gone ahead earlier that morning to ensure that everything was in order so all that was left for Blair and her friends to do was sit back and relax.

"Champagne anyone?" Serena offered as she pulled an ice cold bottle from her bag. She raised her eyebrows cheekily and giggled.

"Do you have to ask?" Nate chuckled, reaching for the champagne flutes that he knew Chuck kept on hand.

"Uh, not for me Nate," Blair muttered, turning her gaze out the window so as not to draw attention to herself. Of course they all noticed because Blair Waldorf refusing champagne was like being told that they had to go to public schools or something just as ridiculous.

Serena just laughed and Chuck procured a martini glass.

"Are you more partial to gin then Waldorf?" Chuck teased as he opened the mini fridge to reveal her favourite gin.

"I'm actually recovering from a migraine so I think I'll just have a sparkling mineral water," she replied, leaning across Chuck and reaching into the fridge. She felt him grow tense as she laid her chest across his lap. Once she'd gotten the bottle of San Pellegrino, she pulled back, wincing only slightly at the lurch in her stomach and the loss of the warmth she'd briefly felt as she'd lain herself across Chuck's firm legs.

"Ok then, as long as you're feeling better," Serena replied.

Nate looked worriedly at her until she shot him a reassuring smile. Chuck wasn't fooled. While Serena and Nate chatted excitedly about the La Cross game that Nate had played in on Wednesday, Chuck turned his attention to the small brunette sharing his seat. She smiled indulgently at her two blonde friends before taking a sip from the tumbler glass in her hand. She licked her lips slightly, tasting the flavour of lime that had begun to sting having placed her mouth inadvertently over the lime while she wasn't concentrating.

"Blair?" Chuck whispered, a little too huskily due to the fact that the simple act of licking her lips made Chuck incredibly turned on.

"Hmm?" She turned to him dreamily and took another sip of her drink.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his hand subconsciously reaching out to the space between them on the seat, the same seat that she had given herself to him on. _Does she realise?_ He wondered. Was that what was wrong? Was she uncomfortable that they were here again, with their best friends sitting opposite? But that wouldn't explain what had happened in the library earlier that week.

"Oh nothing, just the damn migraine," she lied, averting her gaze.

"Blair you still haven't told me what you promised you would on Monday. Please?"

Serena and Nate, thankfully never thought much of it when Blair and Chuck sat to the side whispering as it usually meant they were scheming something. So their conversation ensued without any lull to indicate that they had the slightest interest in what the pair opposite them was talking about.

Chuck reached his hand the rest of the way to take hers from where it lay on her stomach so that he could hold it between them. His eyes searched hers.

"I know Chuck. I will. Just please don't worry. I made you a promise and I'm keeping it," she whispered sweetly, giving his hand a squeeze. "Now pull yourself together Bass, you're turning soft on me." She chuckled half-heartedly; she was kind of freaked out with the caring way Chuck had been acting.

"That's what friends are for, Waldorf," he graced her with a small smirk. They both mentally winced as the word 'friends' slipped from his mouth. It didn't seem to fit them at all. It felt so wrong for him to say it. But that's what they were, friends and no more. Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck; they weren't capable of being anything more. That was just a disaster waiting to happen. Yet somehow the word just wasn't enough for either of them. Of course neither would dare voice that. Least of all Blair, especially since she had found out about the baby.

"Blair you… you're more than just my friend. You're special," but Chuck was full of soppy surprises that week so he took a leap, whispering the words very quietly, very sweetly. Both Nate and Serena had heard, though they continued as if they hadn't.

"So are you Chuck. I…" she paused, her breath catching as she tried to find the right words that would give away just enough, but not expose her. "I really care about you."

"You know you can tell me anything, right? I'd never judge."

"Yes. But would you understand?"

"I would try, always." He stroked his thumb across the back of her hand where it rested again on her stomach.

"Ok." And she turned her attention back to Nate and Serena. She didn't bother to listen to what they were talking about, only pretended as she thought about Chuck's hand upon hers upon the baby. His baby? Chuck too turned his attention back to his friends, resolving that he would uncover what Blair was keeping from him this weekend. And he would understand.

Neither of them were aware that Nate and Serena had heard the entire exchange, and while Serena was glad that Chuck was looking out for Blair- as she herself obviously hadn't cottoned on to Blair's odd behaviour- Nate was resolved that he would find out what was wrong first. After all, he had known Blair since they were toddlers and had dated her since they were in kindergarten. If anyone could understand her, it was him. And he would be damned if anyone else took that bond away.

Blair and Nate shared their history as a couple. Blair and Chuck shared their history as best friends, and also a certain black leather seat in Chuck's limo.

**Sorry for taking so long kids. Your patience and support is greatly appreciated. My production was a huge success; lots of fun and very rewarding. Exams are in a week so I will do my best to write but I'm sure you all understand how busy this time of year is. Please stick with me. There may be times that I don't update for a while, but I promise that I will eventually. To everyone with mid-years coming up, good luck. Don't forget to study hard, eat well and get heaps of rest. Thanks again and I will try to update soon. And don't forget to leave a review, they make winter days that much brighter. **


	3. Could You Promise That You'd Keep It?

**Author's Note: **Thanks for the great reviews everyone. I just thought I would clarify the times and months and what have you. As Blair's birthday is in November, this is obviously a few weeks after. However I was thinking that maybe I would shift it ahead so that it was that same time but in senior year. I don't know; let me know what you think and I can clarify that next time. Also I wrote: "Her hope and happiness was hinged on this weekend the way spring hinged on May," and "And he longed for the weekend like he longed for November." This doesn't reflect what time of year it is, it is purely just a bit of poeticism about how they are my favourite months, therefore I made them Blair and Chuck's favourite months. Also I would like to apologise in advance if I get a bit season confused, I'm from the southern hemisphere so May is actually Autumn and November is actually spring, just correct me in your mind and move on. Anyway, if you ship the senior year idea please let me know, I just think it gives Blair a lot more potential as a mother while still giving her the opportunity to finish school and consider college.

Oh and P.S. I totally wrote 'La Cross' instead of 'lacrosse,' forgive me the Freudian slip, I did recognise my mistake, unfortunately a bit too late. My friends and I played lacrosse for a while a few years ago and we had a personal joke where we referred to it as 'La Cross.' I won't bother explaining because it's a long story and slightly rude but there you go.

**Lexi1x07- **Haha we will see, hey? Hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think.

**tiff xoxo- **Yay! Thank you. I hope you like this chapter and I can't wait to hear what you think.

**MrChuck- **Aw thank you. Ok well hopefully I clarified the month's thing for you above, thanks for pointing that out I will be sure to be clearer with what I am saying. I'm glad you liked the library part and if you feel like telling me what made certain parts so enjoyable I will try to do what you want more often. The memories are important. What I'm hoping to do is portray them the way they were on the show but with more history. The bit with Chuck and Blair's hands; imagine that her hand is resting against her stomach in a terribly clichéd pregnant way and Chuck reaches over and takes her hand and then they are holding hands in the middle of them if that makes any sense. Limo scene wise; it's not that Serena and Nate are dumb, they are just really self-absorbed and I feel like that they can't be bothered listening to the deep intricacies that Chuck and Blair are always discussing. Eventually they sort of cotton on to what they are saying in a sort of let's-keep talking-about-random-crap-but-eavesdrop way. Cool I thing I answered everything and I hope that cleared it all up. I love getting big reviews like yours so please let me know what you think of this chapter. Enjoy!

**Little miss pixie-Alice cullen-** I agree with you about Chuck being caring towards Blair. I think people forget that once they started sleeping together in season one, he actually became very sweet with her. I plan on making the characters as true to the show as possible under the circumstances. So there is still a bad boy in there ;) One thing I notice about Nate and Serena as opposed to Blair and Chuck is this: they are all quite self-absorbed, bitchy people, but at least B and C don't deny it. N and S make themselves out to be the saints of the group but they are just as bad as Blair and Chuck if not worse. So in response to your comment about Serena, it's not so much that's she's dumb or that she doesn't care; she just doesn't catch on because she's too involved with herself. Also Blair and Nate aren't together anymore so at this stage it's all a bit weird between her and Nate and her and Chuck. I suppose they share undefined moments. In terms of Serena and Nate; for him it's more a case of wanting what he can't have, so expect him to bounce back and forth a bit. She will tell Serena soon; it's been a week since she found out about the baby. I just feel that the father should know first, whoever that may be. I am so excited that you love the story so much, your support means the world to me. Enjoy this chapter and let me know what your thoughts are.

**pure-simple-adoration-**Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Yeah, isn't Chuck a honey. Good luck with your exams. Let me know what you think of this chapter. Enjoy!

**lisottina81- **Yay! Hope you enjoy this. Let me know what you think.

**watermelon2014- **Yeah I loved those scenes too. Who knows, she might tell Nate first, she might tell Chuck, she might tell Serena? Hope you enjoy this. Let me know what you think.

**Could You Promise That You'd Keep It?**

Considering the time of year that it was, it wasn't that cold. It was 50 degrees outside and the sun occasionally graced the residents of the Waldorf mansion with her presence, skimming through the white gossamer curtains and stinging their eyes. Blair was currently on the sofa; she was staring off into no where, thinking about the growing life inside her, with Nate's head resting in her lap. Serena was lying on the other sofa, dead to the world and snoring her ass off; suffering the affects of last night's alcohol consumption. Chuck was sitting on the floor with his back to the couch, his head resting on Blair's knees as he read a book. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable; in fact, it felt nice having both boys around her, in their own way, showing that she mattered.

It had been a big night for everyone. They'd all been drinking heavily, apart from Blair who continued to insist that she didn't want to jinx her migraine and would join them the next day. She planned on making the drinks so that she could give herself a shot of water instead of vodka so that she didn't hurt the baby.

_The baby. _She sighed and idly ran her fingers through Chuck's hair, scratching his scalp softly with her nails the way she knew he loved. He moaned slightly as he continued reading his book.

"What are you reading?" Nate asked, rotating his head to look at Chuck. His eyes narrowed at the subconscious way that Blair was caressing his head. He took her other hand and kissed her palm. She looked down at him curiously and he gave her a cheeky grin.

"Great Gatsby," he mumbled in reply.

"Prohibition, new money and speakeasies; what else for Chuck Bass?" Blair chuckled.

"Don't pretend you don't like yourself a nice speakeasy, B. Or anything that is socially prohibited." Chuck smirked wickedly at her. Her gaze grew cold and she shifted Nate out of her way and roughly pushed off the couch, knocking Chuck's head forward with her knee.

"Ow! What the fuck was that for?" Chuck snapped, rubbing his head.

"I don't know what you are talking about," she clipped as she exited the room, and then under her breath, "Motherchucker."

Blair stormed upstairs to her bedroom and all but pushed the door off its hinges as she slammed it shut. A distant groan could be heard from downstairs and Blair assumed that her little tantrum had woken Serena up. _Good. It's about time she got off her lazy ass and did something productive with me, _Blair thought. She rifled through her things, her fingers slipping through silks and cottons until she found her new black bikini set. She stripped down in front of the mirror until she was completely naked. There were strange shadows across her skin, not real shadows, ones that only she could see.

She looked at her body, at her smooth skin. In her mind, she saw two sets of hands, painted like bruises on her bare flesh. She was disgusted. How had she, Blair Waldorf, ended up in this situation? That was the question she kept asking herself. She had no answer. All that she knew was that Nate and Chuck, to varying extents had or still did care for her. She didn't know who the father was, she suspected it might be Chuck, but for the babies sake she hoped it was Nate. When it came to reliability, Nate was probably the best possible outcome. After all, she had a plan in place for her life with Nate, although the children part was a far too early. She didn't have any plans in her life that factored in Chuck.

She groaned as she pulled on her bikini before making her way to the indoor pool. She walked quickly past the living room, hoping to avoid her friends, down the hall, across the patio and into the glass pool house. The room was humid; the sun left a soft glow on the glass windows. Blair dipped her foot into the water, testing to make sure that Dorota had tuned on the heating. It was perfect. She let herself sink in and then floated on her back.

Blair closed her eyes and blocked out everything. Her mind was blank and she pushed her hands through the water, feeling the bubbles rise and kiss her skin. She painted her mind with that; the rising of air through the water as it clung to her for dear life. Who would her baby cling to for dear life? Would Nate cling back? Or would Chuck give her no reason to cling in the first place? She placed her hands on her belly, semi submerged by the water.

_Hello baby. _She thought. _Um, are you having fun down there? I don't really know how to have a silent conversation with a baby but I hope that everything's good in your little house._

Blair sighed. She was thinking things at her unborn child; asking it silly questions that it couldn't answer.

_If you have any idea who your daddy is, could you let me know? Cool, thanks. I mean I think its Chuck, but it would probably be better for both of us if it wasn't him. Sorry, I didn't realise that you liked him. Well yeah, I guess I do too. But it's confusing; I've spent my whole life thinking it would be Nate. Chuck isn't so bad I suppose, he's just such a slut. Sorry mommy shouldn't say bad words. He just plays way too many games. Maybe I am just as bad. I just..._

Footsteps on the tiles shook her out of her thoughts. Her eyes flew open as Nate hopped in the pool and swam over to her.

"What's up Blair?" He asked, floating around on his back so that he circled her.

"Nothing, just thinking," she replied brusquely.

"What about?"

"Do you think it's weird that I was the last one out of all of us to realise that you and I weren't meant to be?" She asked suddenly and then mentally chided herself for her idiocy. She probably sounded desperate.

"I think that's a bit harsh, don't you? I mean maybe now just isn't our time."

Blair scoffed, which was a very rare occurrence and Nate stood up so that he could gauge her face. "Honestly Nate, you can't seriously pretend that the way you look at Serena will ever be the way you look at me."

He stared at her; dumbfounded while she just rolled her eyes before closing them.

"It's ok. I mean, it still hurts but I guess I understand what it's like to have all of your preconceived plans go up in flames."

"Blair, I don't know what to say. You have to know that I do love you…"

_But you love her more._

He resumed his position floating on his back next to her. While she gazed at the sky through the glass roof, he gazed at her; enjoying the way her eyelashes brushed softly against her cheekbones. That was one thing he would always love about Blair; how soft she was. Such a delicate girl and so innocent compared to him. Or so he thought.

"You're so beautiful, B," Nate said loudly, a little too loudly, because the thought was screaming as it raced through his head. Reaching out a hand to hold hers, their fingers intertwined so that his hand was submerged and hers was kissed by the steam that rose from the water.

"I've waited so long to here you say that," she replied, pulling her hand from his and swimming to the edge of the pool. She climbed out, wrapped herself in a towel and left. The only evidence that she had been there was a puddle of water at the edge of the pool and small foot prints leading away from where Nate still stood, staring after her.

**xoxo**

"_I don't know what you are talking about," she clipped as she exited the room, and then under her breath, "Motherchucker."_

Chuck watched her storm off. He rubbed his head and chuckled when he heard her curse him. The door slammed upstairs and Serena jumped as she woke up.

"Ow," she groaned, her eyes squinting until she adjusted to the light. "Fuck that…"

"Bitch?" Chuck cut in. "I completely agree. She's been like that on and off all week. Crazy bitch."

"What's she doing?" Nate asked, sitting up and running a hand through his hair.

"How do you put out a fire, Nathanial?" Chuck asked mockingly.

"She's swimming?"

"If I know Blair…" Chuck trailed off, sending Nate a menacing smirk that the blonde couldn't quite understand.

"She must be PMSing real bad," Nate pondered aloud.

Serena's eyes went wide. Her hangover disappeared as quickly as it had come on and all she could think was that Blair had relapsed. _Shit shit shit! She's sick again and she's missed her period. Why didn't I realise? Oh fuck, poor B._ Serena sat up and went to stand but promptly fell back when her head started spinning. She didn't know who she should send; Chuck or Nate. Chuck was looking at her, watching the gears in her brain grind slowly due to the left over booze in her system. He could tell something was wrong. Straight away he knew that something was wrong with Blair.

"I'm gonna go check on her," Nate said, bouncing up from the couch eagerly. He was out the door before either Chuck or Serena could stop him.

Chuck looked at Serena fearfully, his eyes begging her for answers unspoken, secrets whispered no louder than a breath. Her expression mirrored his, looking for the assurance that her thoughts were nowhere near close to being true. Her big blue eyes looked like dense puddles of rain as the reality that Chuck was just as clueless sunk in and she started to cry. His eyes were dark and full of falling golden stars. Falling back to the reality that maybe Blair had kept something far too big from him, or maybe she'd lied.

"She wouldn't," he snapped defiantly, his head shaking violently.

"She's missed her period," Serena explained. "She's not with Nate anymore, so she's probably been trying to take control."

"No, you don't understand Serena. She _wouldn't_. She promised me," his face was as hard as ever but his eyes, for once, were clear. He was scared.

"Maybe she slipped up. We just need to show her we are here for her and she should be fine. Yeah, she'll be fine." She said it more to reassure herself than for any other reason.

"That's not enough S! She's just being a stupid, attention seeking spoilt brat! I fucking hate that bitch! SHE PROMISED! God, doesn't she realise how much she is hurting herself? That selfish whore. Or at least she could think about what it does to us. But no, it's always about Blair Fucking Waldorf and what she wants. She fucking promised me, Serena," his shouting trailed off.

He didn't realise he had been standing until his knees wobbled and he fell back onto the couch. He lowered his head into his hands and willed everything to just go back to the way it was before he cared. He'd probably be fucking some hot model right now if it weren't for Blair. Because it was all her fault that she was so lovely; so kind and warm and yet somehow so wicked and cold. Such a cold exterior, a fire bellow, so soft and gentle but filled with such a strength, so weak, so delicate, so hard and rough. Blair Waldorf was a fallen angel sent to confuse his brains out and make him question everything he'd ever known to be true. _So pure yet so evil. _In what sick kind of world could he hate her and lo… _and care for her,_ he amended, all at the same time? In what kind of world could someone else's problems cause him pain? In what kind of world could someone so beautiful be so badly neglected and forgotten? How could anyone ever let something so enchanting slip their mind?

"Please don't shout," Serena pleaded. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before looking up. It was only then that she realised how much Chuck truly cared for Blair and dare she say, loved her.

"You're right Chuck, but we are jumping to conclusions here. We should talk to her first. Don't mention this to anyone."

"_You promise?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Will you tell me what's going on?"_

"_I don't think I'm ready."_

"_Soon then."_ That was his promise to her, just not in so many words. _I'll be here._

"Doesn't she realise just how beautiful she is?" He wondered out loud.

"You're so beautiful, B,"Nate's voice drifted down the hall.

Before Serena could make sense of what was happening, Chuck had risen again, thrown back the remnants of his scotch and stormed upstairs to his room. The door slammed for the second time that day, making her head thunder in protest. She was left alone. And for the first time ever, Serena hoped that Chuck would get Blair, not Nate. She had promised him after all.

In what kind of world could Chuck Bass end up in his room, pining over a broken girl who wanted someone else? _The fucked up kind. Blair's fairy-tale kind._

**Please leave a review :)**


	4. Keep It In Your Hand

**Keep It In Your Hand**

She was leaving water stains on the carpet, or to be more precise, butt cheek stains. Blair was sitting on the floor with her back pressed against the cold wood of her bedroom door. Her heart was hammering like a trapped bird inside her ribcage as she played what they'd said over and over in her mind, like a perfectly broken black and white movie. _"…you can't fool me. I know you." "Blair you… you're more than just my friend. You're special." _**"I mean maybe now just isn't our time." "You have to know that I do love you…" "You're so beautiful, B."**

And oh, she had waited forever to hear Nate say those things to her. Even now they made her heart fly, but it wasn't enough. Because now she knew; they both cared for her, but in such different ways. And she didn't want to be second best. She deserved so much more, her baby deserved so much more than that. So to her the choice was easy now, or rather, it wasn't a choice, she just knew. She could feel it. Call it a maternal instinct, but somehow Chuck Bass had dragged his teeth across her chest, deep enough that he'd tasted her heart and left behind a trail of silver poison that spelt his name but sounded like hers. They were one and the same; fighting fire with fire. It filled her with a painful hope because half of her was crying out that she should just admit it, and the other half was sickened by the thoughts of the former. Blair Waldorf was pregnant with Chuck Bass' child. She was scared but at the same time she was almost happy. She couldn't help but think it was twisted that she was happy to be a pregnant teen but Chuck Bass did that to her.

The nausea hit her and she raced to the bathroom to be sick. Outside her bedroom door, Chuck listened as Blair vomited. There was no water running like there usually was when she was purging, so he hoped that meant that she was just ill. It wasn't just because he wanted to believe her, but he could just tell when she was lying or telling the truth. However he could hear her and that made everything different. He turned the handle and roughly threw the door open. His strides were long and purposeful; when Blair looked up he was there. He looked angry; his eyes were dark and his lips hard. By his sides his hands were clenched.

"Chuck, I can explain," her voice was hoarse and she was shaky as she stood up.

"I'm pretty sure you don't need to. I just want to know why you lied to me," Chuck snapped, stepping so that he blocked the doorway.

"I didn't lie Chuck, I'm not making myself sick."

"That's not what it looks like Blair." He said her name like it was the most disgusting word in the world. But when he saw the fear in her eyes he repeated her name again, softly.

She turned away from him, throwing up again into the porcelain bowl, entirely against her will, he could see. As quickly as he was angry he was reaching over to rub her back and hold her hair away from her face. When she was done she stood up and brushed her teeth. Chuck's hands never left her back, all the while he rubbed soothing circles until she sighed. When she had rinsed her mouth out she turned to him, resting her head against his chest and wrapping he arms around his waist.

"Blair, what's going on with you?" Chuck whispered into her hair. He was confused. He had been so convinced that perhaps she had relapsed but completely and not of her own volition she threw up. And now he was worried.

"I can't Chuck," she sobbed against his chest. Her heart was pounding like a freight train in her chest and her breaths were coming out in short, strangled puffs.

"What can't you do?" He asked desperately as he tried to pry her face up to look at him.

"This. Nate said some things and you said some things and I'm scared and confused and everything is all about to change. My life is ruined and I'm about to ruin everyone else's and you're all going to hate me for it and I just can't live with myself." She was shaking, clinging to him with all she had, rambling and stuttering quickly as if saying everything aloud would allow her to make sense of it all.

"Blair what have you done?" He asked seriously, his thumb came up to stroke her chin softly before he wiped her tears. "Whatever it is it can't be that bad. I'm Chuck Bass remember? I've done some horrible things."

"Chuck," she sobbed, pressing her lips into the warmth of his fast beating chest, "I need you to…" She was cut off by another bout of tears and strangled breaths.

"What do you need me to do?" He shook her shoulders lightly forcing her to look up at him. Her eyes were red and hooded and so full, he thought; of all the things bottled up inside her. And she saw nothing but warmth and understanding in his. It made her feel even more horrible for what she was about to ask of him. "Blair, just ask me, I'll do anything."

"Make me feel alive. Please, just one more time before you hate me forever; one more time before I can't stand to look at you." Her eyes bore into his and her arms tightened around his waist.

"I won't hate you, Blair," his own arms pulled her closer.

"Please?" And that was all he could handle. Her begging him made it impossible for anything else to occur. Discussion would be postponed until he had given her the comfort she needed.

Chuck brushed his lips across her so softly that she thought she might break. His fingers traced her spine so gently she felt like she would splinter under his hands. She kissed him harder, forcing his mouth open with her tongue so that she could taste him. He pushed his tongue against hers; sliding so that he could sweep it across her lips. Chuck took her hands in his, threading their fingers and walked her back until her knees hit the mattress and she fell softly back into the down filled duvet.

Blair was still crying; her lips trembled where they pressed wetly against his chest and her teeth scraped half-heartedly across his nipple in a desperate attempt to draw a reaction from him. He groaned softly in her ear biting down on her earlobe. Her breath caught and a gaspy sob escaped as he traced the shell of her ear with his tongue. His fingers tugged gently at the knot on her bikini until it fell away and her breasts spilled out into his palms.

"Please, Charles, I need you," she gasped. He licked the tears as they ran down her cheeks. With that admission he rolled back on his knees above her and swiftly pulled his shirt over his head and removed the remaining offending clothes until all that was between them was Blair's bikini bottom.

"How do you want it Blair? He asked, seduction dripping from his lips until she was sitting up and kissing him. His fingers hooked into the waist band of her bottoms and tugged it down so that she could kick it from around her ankles. All the while his fingers stroked dangerously close to her abdomen. She writhed underneath him in discomfort but he mistook the action for pleasure and danced his fingers lower across her hips.

"Fast," she purred, biting on his bottom lip. She placed her hands on his lower back to pull him closer. "But be gentle with me."

"Should I ravish you first?" He teased and he let his fingers travel lower. Her head turned swiftly away and she bit her own lip in an attempt to stop a moan from escaping. But he stopped when she started crying again and instead brought his hands up to cup her face. He kissed her softly before whispering, like he always did; "Are you sure?"

She nodded and so he held her tighter and kissed her again before he gave her the comfort and release she needed.

**xoxo**

He liked watching her sleep. She looked especially beautiful tangled in white bed sheets that fell short of covering her exposed back. Chuck traced his name across her back with his index finger. He silently prayed to whoever would listen that last night wouldn't be their last time like she predicted. The sunlight danced in her hair where it lay in a mess across the pillows. Whatever this stupid attachment was with Blair Waldorf, it had to end. She was entirely too desirable for her own good. But for some reason he could find no fault with being with her. She made him feel happy and alive like he'd never felt before. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, the most beautiful woman he had ever touched. He couldn't think of a single thing that would make him hate her. Or at least if he hated her, he would never stop caring. If she got back with Nate then he was pretty sure he wouldn't want her anywhere near him. But that was the truly amazing thing; that this delicate girl had the ability to destroy him. She was dangerous and dark and he sought it out. He was a moth to her flame and she was a butterfly to his.

His fingers danced across the ridges of her spine again. He felt her shoulders begin to shake and at first he thought she was laughing at the feather light touch of his fingers. But the sound of muffled sobbing escaped from between her lips and the pillow.

"Blair? Did I hurt you?" Chuck asked. He lay down again next to her so that he could see her face.

"I'm so sorry, Chuck. I promise you I didn't mean for this to happen," she whispered. She ventured her fingers out to trace the shape of his lips.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" His own fingers threaded with the hair at the base of her neck.

She continued looking into his eyes, searching for anything that would prepare her for what was to come.

Serena stood in the hall with her ear pressed against the door, trying desperately to hear something, anything that would indicate that Blair was ok. But all was quiet. _They're probably sleeping,_ she thought. She turned the door knob in her hand and peeked in. They were awake, lying on their stomachs beside each other, looking into each other's eyes as they touched each other's faces softly. Serena stood rooted to the spot, unable to move for what she had just witnessed was the most innocent and delicate of moments she thought she had ever seen her friends in. She closed the door quietly and left them, walking away as Blair began to cry silently.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered, closing her eyes to avoid the inevitable rejection in his. Her hand stilled on his cheek. His own fingers froze where they traced the line of her brow.

"What?" Chuck's eyes were suddenly wide and dark, his expression one of utter shock. Surely he was mistaken. Surely she hadn't just said what he thought she said because that would mean…

"I'm pregnant," she repeated.

"Are you sure?" He was pulling away to sit up so she followed, they both sat with their backs ramrod on the headboard.

"Three tests said positive, so yeah." She bit her lip anxiously. "Chuck I'm so sorry."

"So it's not Nate's?" He asked, raking a hand through his bed hair.

"I don't see how it could be but I won't know for sure until I go to the doctor on Monday."

They sat in complete silence for a long time. Chuck wouldn't look at her, his eyes were instead focused on his hands were they lay in his lap. She let tears fall softly along her cheeks until they ran dry. The situation became more awkward when she realised they were both sitting together, naked.

"Please say something," she finally whispered.

"I don't know whether to be mad at myself, or you, or if I should feel disgusted that I had sex with a pregnant woman, or if it's weird that I'll be mad if it's Nate's. I guess I deserve to feel used after all the girls I've made feel that way. But I just never expected this from you. You kept this from me and then used me for sex. How long have you known?"

"Just for a week. Chuck you can be as involved as you want, I don't want you to feel pressured to be part of this baby's life but I will be keeping it. But we can make this work if you want."

"Blair it's not that easy," he said, pushing off the bed and pulling his pants on. As an afterthought he added, "Put some clothes on."

"You think I don't know that?" She snapped. "This is ruining my life too. I'll fall behind in school and I probably won't be able to go to Yale. I will put shame on my family and I'll lose my title as society queen. What have you got to lose? Your reputation as playboy extraordinaire? No one respects you anyway so it's not like you'll lose that." She lifted a pillow from the bed and threw it at him. "I hate you!"

"No you don't Blair! You hate yourself. Fuck, I have to go I can't think straight while I'm in the same room as you. You're a lying, sly manipulative bitch." He threw the pillow at the nightstand, knocking over the lamp and a glass so that they smashed on the ground. He made for the door so she quickly pulled his dress shirt over her head so that she was covered before following him, grabbing his shoes as she went.

"I guess with us as parents this kid's got no hope in hell. You're worse than I am!"

Serena and Nate were in the hall when Chuck stormed out in just his pants, followed by Blair in only his pale blue shirt. She chased after him and threw a shoe at his back to get his attention. He turned to face her, anger radiating from his eyes.

"Don't you dare walk away from us, Chuck! I didn't ask for this either but it's happening and I need you, even just as my friend."

Serena and Nate stood to the side and watched. It was clear that they had slept together, and though it was a shock to Nate it was clearly not their first time. However he remained silent by Serena's side as he watched their verbal sparring. They reminded him of a married couple the way they were arguing, pacing and facing each other. Serena knew about Chuck and Blair, but never had she seen them like this; so intensely connected. Though the scene was clearly not a happy agreeable one, there was no doubt that she felt like she was intruding on an intimate moment. Nate was ready to step in when he saw the angry glint in Chuck's eyes but one look from Blair herself; his childhood sweetheart, and he knew that this was not the time for him to be neither jealous nor chivalrous.

"I'm going for a walk to clear my head. I can't talk to you right now. Don't follow me! If you do then you can forget me even considering helping with this." He spoke to her like he was the adult and she was the little girl.

"Chuck," she pleaded as he turned his back and made for the stairs. He turned once more with a cold, menacing glare.

"Oh and B, I think you owe Nate an explanation. That shirt's a little bit big to be his. Then again we both know that anything that's mine seems to fit you like a glove, or rather the other way around."

With that he left her. She fell to her knees on the ground and wept.

**A/N: So what did you think? Is it what you hoped for? I would really like your feedback and advice so give me a review! Please :P I hope that by portraying Chuck in this way I've done his bad boy side some justice. For a moment he was going a bit soft. Does it need to be smuttier? I dunno please let me know what you think and what you want from the story. Also I will update Falling Up soon and I'm working on a new story. Sorry for taking so long!**


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